Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Fight for Preemies - Fight for Parker!

"This isn't fair."
"This wasn't supposed to happen like this"
"I am a failure."

Some of the things that went through my head the day my son was to be born and many days after.

Some days, even now, it seems SO unfair that Parker was born 11 weeks early. When I am really down, I tend to dwell on that number - 11 and the number 29. 11 weeks early is 29 weeks gestation - when my son was born.

I never planned to have anything like this happen...I mean, who does really? It's not like we sit there and talk to God and say, "Ok, May 29th works fine for us...sure it's 11 weeks early, but no biggie." No, you plan to be pregnant to month 9, you plan to go into labor, you plan to go in and push for hours and beg for an epidural.

Parker was born because I began developing HELLP Syndrome. Simply put - my body was rejecting Parker. Our RH factors were different. I am O+ and Parker A-. My body saw him as a foreign agent and was beginning to prepare to kill him. (Much like a transplant being rejected.)

I went into the hospital at 3 am on May 29th - not thinking anything of it other than being in pain. My right side hurt (that would be my liver enzymes being elevated.) They ran tests and it was soon found that I had the syndrome. They quickly gave me a steroid shot (to help develop Parker's lungs as quickly as possible.) and then prepped me for my emergency c-section. It all happened so fast, even now as I type this, I don't remember everything. I remember being wheeled into the emergency room - Drew had to stop and go sit in the hallway. I remember feeling very scared, overwhelmed and alone. I desperately wanted Drew in there holding my hands, but because I was put completely under, he couldn't be. There was a nurse though - Mary, who held my hand and that helped.

Parker was born at 9:35 am weighing 2lbs 3ozs and was 14.5 inches long.

I felt so bad and guilty for his birth and how he looked. For a long time I blamed myself.

Babies should not have to be born this early. Please help support the March of Dimes in their research to find a way to stop prematurity.

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