Beauty from Pain

As I was driving back home from having lunch with an incredible friend yesterday, Parker and I were jamming to songs on my iPod. One particular song came on that I have heard probably hundreds of times, but yesterday, the words were so real, the words spoke to where I am right now in my life. See, the hard stuff that Drew and I are going through isn't pretty, it's scary, it's depressing, it's about to make me go mad (and I CAN do the mad hatter hair style!).

I don't get it, I don't get why we are at this place, I do believe somewhere down the road it will all make sense, but for now, nope, don't get it. I can't comprehend it in my little human mind...and you know what, maybe that's ok. Maybe I don't need to "get it" all right now. Maybe the greater lesson in all of this crud is to finally 100% turn to my Daddy up in heaven and let him hash out the details. I don't know - but it sounds good right? I mean, I certainly never planned on being at a place like this in my life, my marriage, my home, but God knew it would all happen, he's not surprised - and that's a good thing, because in the end HE'S IN CHARGE...

So here we are on the road from Cincinnati back to Columbus and I am jamming to David Crowder, the song turns to one of my favorite bands - Superchick. The song - Beauty from Pain. Like I said, I have heard this song SO many times it had gotten old, but yesterday, something was different - I actually took in what they were singing, listened to the words and BAM - it's like I could have written myself.

"Beauty From Pain"

The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain 




I highlighted certain parts that REALLY explain where I am at. 


Even if I don't get all the crud that's happening in my life right now - God will bring me through this, HE WILL. And I will hope again, I will cling to his promise that there will be a dawn. 


I have no other choice...but really, it gives me great peace to know that HE WILL BRING BEAUTY FROM MY PAIN!