Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Why Parker doesn't have a sibling - YET

I don't even know why I am choosing to address this - maybe for my sanity.

Simply put, Parker doesn't have a sibling yet because we have not been trying, not wanting to try, and I am trying to convince myself it's ok to be pregnant again.

See, this past year, Drew and I had to take time to focus on our marriage first. We were in a hard place, each month a new challenge, all building up on top of each other. Our marriage was and still is our first priority. That has got to be going good before we can even think of trying.

Second, I needed time to work through my crippling fear of getting pregnant again. I have been and I am healthier now and my perspective on it is changing. It no longer feels like it could be doomed. I have been in counseling working on this and other other things now for almost a year. I didn't not want to jump into another baby so soon. Parker has been a top priority for me since his birth, his health and growth has been numero uno in my book when it comes to kids.

Third, ultimately, God will either give us another or not. We can't control it...we can only do the work required to get pregnant. God will either bless us with another or not...I am ok with this...truly.

All that said, Drew and I have been praying a lot about number 2, especially now that Parker is almost 3 and I am feeling more content about the idea of being pregnant. Truth is, I have less to be scared of because I will be monitored closely by not only my regular OB/GYN and a high risk OB/GYN...and the chances of things becoming so overly emergent is probably less.

Drew and I are sorta working on it. The other obstacle is I need to get off one of my meds for sure, if not 2. One is on the "Don't take if pregnant" list. I plan to talk to my dr. about going off of it and starting to try again soon.

So yes, Parker will - God willing - have a sister or brother some day. But when WE are ready. I never wanted my kids close together anyways. But I am ready and I know God will do as he desires with my body and my baby making!

Now, can we move past the questioning about it?!


Ali said...

Very well said, Denise. God's timing is always always perfect.

Anthony and Ashleys Mommy said...

Its very scary isn't it? If Ashley hadn't been a surprise, I don't think I would even have the courage to attempt number 2. But the pregnancy with her went amazing.

I also wanted to say I think its really normal to have a hard time with marriage after having a preemie. Larry and I weren't in a good place for about 2 years. He was dealing with depression (from losing Hailey and Anthony's health) and it was difficult. I needed someone to be there for me, and he couldn't, and I sorta resented him for that..... anyway, just wanted to say, I can relate. Glad you are focusing on your marriage.


Anonymous said...

AMEN SISTER!!!! I can't even tell you how many times I am asked the exact same question. I just recently have become comfortable with the idea of being pregnant again.

My sister and I are 3 years apart, and my mom loved it! We are best friends too, so I do not think that age has anything to do with that.

Love you!

jen said...

people wont ask you as much after you've had a second one ;) but... it is annoying how people think it's such a general question. it's really quite personal. (love this post!!)

Charlotte (Life's a Charm!) said...

I agree that you should wait until you and your hubby are ready for another baby. marriage is hard enough.