Sunday, November 1, 2009

Not What I Expected

As a women I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I was when I found I was pregnant in Dec of 2007. Growing up, it was my dream to have children, to love a child, to be a mommy and there it was in front of me - my 2 tests telling me "Yup Deni, you are pregnant!" It was a surreal moment to know that in my belly was a little itty bitty bean that in a mere 10 months would be in my arms screaming - covered in ooky goo but more beautiful than anything.

But, that didn't happen. Nope...not in the least. I won't get into my story at this point, that's for the 17th of November, but I will say this...when I had Parker, it wasn't want I expected.

When you have a baby, you expect to be in labor for hours, screaming for epidurals, yelling at your husband, screaming, pushing, ect (or maybe that's what I expected!) You don't expect to have an emergency c-section and not get to see your baby for 3 days (other than in pictures).

You expect to have that crying child covered in goo weighing in the 5-8 pound mark put on your belly and you cry tears of joy...not this...

You don't expect to have to see tubes in your child, breathing apparatuses on his face, noises going off everywhere and you certainly don't expect for that child to weigh a mere 2lbs 3ozs...

You also don't expect to have to be wheeled to another place in the hospital to see that little bundle of joy lying in an incubator while there are other children just like that around.

And you don't expect your first time holding him will be the day you are discharged from the hospital. You also don't expect to not bring him home with you that day - it's not supposed to be like that.

However, that was my reality and that is the reality (though each person is different) of many today. More than 13 million babies are born too soon worldwide. In fact in an average week in the US 10,440 babies are born preterm of those 1,664 babies are born VERY early. Those numbers are just not what you want to see.

I never thought I would be one of those 10,440 and I certainly didn't expect to be one of the 1,664. I did everything right in my pregnancy, I expected to have Parker in august and go through labor and bring my baby home just a couple days after having him.

But God had a different plan and looking back now I am thankful for that. Having a preemie has made me more aware of what March of Dimes is doing for women and baby everywhere. I have gained more faith and have really been able to work with March of Dimes and other preemie parents to make aware the realities of preterm birth.

I certainly didn't plan to have a preemie, nor do I plan to have another. But I am glad that I can use what I have been through to reach out to others.


This month I am hoping to blog regularly about prematurity and my journey within the community of preemie parents. This blog will give you statistics, information, and I will also share bits and pieces of our journey. I hope to have some guest posts (if you are interested, please let me know), Wednesdays I will share with you some excerpts from the journal I kept during Parker's 69 days in the hospital and much much more.

You don't have to be a preemie parent to blog about prematurity. On Nov. 17th, prematurity awareness day, BloggersUnite wants you to blog the story of a preemie you know or have to promote awareness. You can always add a badge to your blog as well. (See my post from Sat. Oct. 31 for links!)

Be Blessed!


Marla Taviano said...

This is awesome what you're doing, Denise!

Kaleena said...

Man those pictures bring back some memories for me. I'm so glad that you are raising awareness! Smiles to you:)

Carrie said...

I like this post a lot - thanks for sharing more about what you went through this month!