A Word From Our Sponsors...

Ok, so make it a word from the writer of this here blog. I will do my special post here in just a moment but first I need to pretty much let it out and beg you all for prayers.

If you follow my on facebook then most of you know the current state of my mind and the situation with Parker. If you don't then here is a basic run down.

Parker is ill - some tummy bug virus thing that has made him poo like there's no tomorrow and not eat a darn thing. He has thankfully been drinking like a champ so he is super hydrated. I took him to the doctor yesterday because I had been changing at least 10 diapers a day due to his body just simply cleaning out. The doctor was thrilled that he had not had a fever at all and that it's basically been diarrhea. We have to let it run its course and of course that is just hard in and of itself. Each day Parker is doing better - though he still isn't eating much at all and he's very worn out, which I would be too.

This on top of his therapy that he is currently going through, the new formula they have switched him to and the appointment next week for allergy testing is really overwhelming me. I am mentally burnt out, emotionally burnt out and my eyes hurt from crying. I can honestly say that my depressions is back and terrible and I am shutting myself down and off to others.

So if you could take the time to pray Parker heals better and that I can find peace and rest that would be awesome.

1 Parker + 1 Dog = Allergy Tests Galore!

Some of you follow me on facebook, others on twitter, some know me personally and already know this, but I want to share with you our current situation with Parker.

Saturday (Aug. 8) Parker and I went over to my friend Chrissy's new house. She has two precious dogs - Daisy and Darby. Parker was on the floor loving on Darby and she loving on him. They stopped for a brief moment and I noticed that poor Parker was red every spot where he'd been licked. I didn't think much of it, figured, hey, he's never been around dogs really (we have a cat) so it's probably just a small irritation. In fact, Chrissy and I giggled about it! Then, Parker started to itchy really bad - then puff up, and then hives started showing up. I took him to urgent care and it was confirmed that Parker had an allergic reaction to dog saliva.

Today, Parker woke up with a fever (totally unrelated to the allergy issue) and so knowing we needed to follow up anyways and being concerned by the highness of the fever I made a sick appointment. Parker has a virus, should be gone by the end of the week at the latest.

And here's where the fun comes in - Dr. D wants Parker to have allergy tests done. So tomorrow, we are going to a lab and he will get check for allergies to - dog dander and saliva, cat dander and saliva, wheat, soy and milk! We pretty much already know about the dog saliva - which means we can't even have a hypoallergenic dog - those are dander "proof" only). There is the possibility of cat allergies - which could explain his on going eczema. And the food, that's mainly precautionary, but again, it could also explain the eczema.

So I am a bit bummed. I love cats and dogs and now, we may need to get rid of our cat and we won't be able to get a dog. I realize down the road that Parker could very likely outgrow some intolerance to dogs, but still, its a huge bummer. Also, we will probably have to be prepared for asthma testing and such too. Woohoo!

I am taking this hard. Not sure why, just am.

So if you could be praying for Parker and the tests and for me as I come to terms with it, I'd appreciate it!

Thanks

Happy Stuff

Today, I don't want this blog to be a "Debbie Downer" so today, I am choosing to be positive. It's been to easy, recently, for me to be negative - maybe I get too stressed, I don't know, but I am sick of being negative...today I choose to be positive.

So today, I want to share some happy/thankful thoughts with you.

- I am thankful that RSV season is almost over, I am thankful that Parker was able to receive his synagis shots and I am SUPER thankful for insurance that paid the $3000+ that the shots were! We aren't able to get his last months worth because of our insurance, so we have to basically act as if we just brought him home, no being around sick people, wash hands, yadda, yadda!

- I am thankful for my many many friends! I count myself blessed to have so many people who I can turn to whom I love and love me and my family. I am thankful for the wonderful women I know from church, I am blessed to have a great group that build me up! I am thankful for the new friends I make and the old friends I have and miss terribly at times. I am thankful for my college buddies who know me. I am thankful for you all, you readers out there that I have never met in person and those I have. I am thankful to be able to share my story with you and that you continue to read my blog, even on the hard days!

- I am thankful for my husband. Seriously, the guys is AWESOME! I appreciate how he steps up and helps me and pushes me. I am thankful that he knows me and my heart and soul. I am thankful that he loves God!

- I am thankful for my family. I won't lie, we don't all get along, but I am glad to have such a fun family. Sure, we can let each other down, but I am so glad for them.

- I am thankful that Parker, while born early, is doing SO WELL! We went to an OT appointment yesterday and he is doing great developmentally. He is on track with his adjusted age. There is a little concern with his communication, but the therapist is not at all worried - he makes enough noises and is communicating pretty well! He will babble and talk when he wants to. One thing I have learned with him, is don't push him, he learns on his own! We need to work on his sitting. He doesn't like to sit with his legs bent, which is just because of his muscle tone. He'll get there. He is ALMOST crawling! I am so thankful that Parker is "normal" even if he is small!

Yesterday, after Parker's OT appointment, Drew, P and I went to Riverside to visit the NICU! Surreal doesn't even begin to describe the walk up to the NICU! It feels weird to know that we get to leave with Parker, not visit him there daily. It's been almost a year - which is also insane! We got to see some wonderful nurses! Some who took care of Parker just hours/days after he was born. We got our picture taken so they can share it with others! I am planning on making a special picture present for the NICU as a thank you. They have a wall of different pictures and collages and I want to share our story with others!

I am having a better day today, as is Parker!!! Parker's skin continues to feel like sandpaper, thankfully those the redness is going away! His tooth I think is stuck, it hasn't come out any further - not sure if it just takes time or what. I am not a pro at all at this, so if any of you have any thoughts about teething and it feels like this one tooth is taking forever - please share.

This morning I got together with some of my friends from church for an easter egg dyeing party. It was fun, I love those women and the kids. And I got to meet a new friend - Monica, she is sweet! Parker didn't care much...i tried to let him help me with an egg, he just looked at me like I was nuts!

Tomorrow, Parker and I get to go to the zoo with some other friends. I look forward to it! I feel good getting out of the house and hanging with people. I need to do it more.

Friday is a big day. I have a lot to do before then! We found out Sunday that Drew's parents are coming for Easter! We were thrilled and surprised and hey, it's free babysitting! (Like I would turn that down. Are you reading this Pete and Angela - you get to watch Parker for us Sat. morning!!!) If I know Pete, he's probably jumping up and down in excitement ;) Before they get here though, we are taking Parker to his ped. to follow up on his skin. If nothing else, its more for peace of mind, than anything.

Well, that's all I have for now friends! Hope you all can find the positives today!

Now What...???

Normally I wouldn't post anything on a Sunday - maybe I would do a Sunday Sabbath post with pictures, but today I am posting something. I just need to "let it out" as one would say.

We survived our first night home since our scary ordeal with the ER Saturday night. To say the first night home was hard is a complete understatement. I was scared over every little thing Parker did that wasn't normal. Drew had to explain to me on several occasions that the albuterol will make him breath faster because of it being a steroid. That would explain a lot. Thankfully, Parker is doing so well that he has only needed his puffs every 6 hours - which is much better than the once an hour that was basically happening at the hospital. PRAISE GOD!!!! I am learning the difference between wheezing and Parker excitement breathing (they are almost the same!) Which is very helpful as well.

Right now, we are keeping him confined to his bedroom. When we got home last night, the cat was automatically put in our bedroom and has been there since. She doesn't understand why, but I kept telling her, she did nothing wrong, but we have to protect her baby brother until we can find her a new place to stay or until May when her grandparents can take her back to New York! Anyways, Parker's room is the cleanest in the house and the room with the least amount of cat hair. We got home and did as best of a deep clean as we could - we did a lengthly vacuum and dusted like mad men! We plan to get a nice air purifier for his room (well for most of the house!) and do our best to keep his room the least allergen filled.

Once we get our state tax return - we are getting a Dyson!!!! We also plan to, like I said, get air purifiers, some good cleaning solutions, lots of hand sanitizer and really step up in our effort to be more cleanly. Now, we are by no means dirty people, but our house isn't immaculate either!

I know it sounds like we are going crazy - but if these actions can help make things less hard on his little body, I am all for them! I don't want a repeat of what happened Saturday night...It was super scary and emotionally and physically draining! I don't wish it on anyone. I am thankful we got him to the ER when we did...it could have been much worse, but I also don't want to put him at risk for anything getting more severe.

Emotionally....I am so drained. I haven't cried so much in a long time. Every breathing treatment pretty much inspired streams of tears, especially the first few at the hospital when he would scream and look into your eyes as if to say, why are you doing this. I barely slept at all while there. I was too into helping Parker. and when I did sleep, it was either in a recliner, a hard chair or the floor. To go from one day everything being ok and now, having to be careful with allergens and hand washing and cleaning things is so hard. I don't know that I right now can even completely comprehend what happened. I know I repeated my questions alot to the nurses - who, by the way, wanted to steal Parker (he's a charmer even when sick). The nurses we had in the observation unit were so nice and understanding. Praise God for them.

I have to say though...I realize just how much I love my baby boy. I mean, I knew I loved him deeply and unlimitedly, but with everything he went through in the hospital...my love is just gonna burst. I would do anything to help him, make him comfortable and make him not struggle like he was.

**I should note that he also had a virus, which made this all the much worse!**

Anyways, so now I have to learn a new normal. I feel like I did back in August when I first brought Parker home - like I have to learn how to be normal again. I am scared I will miss him needing his treatment. I am scared of a lot, I am scared I can't trust my own instincts...SCARED SCARED SCARED! Somehow though, I know we will be ok. Things will become normal and everyday again. God will protect him. I will learn and life will return to a better place.

Please keep us in your prayers - we have a rather long-ish road ahead of learning how to live and take care of an asthmatic child.

Ok, off to try to rest - I skipped church because 1) I am not ready to have parker out and about quite yet and 2) I am so dang tired!

I Hate This Part of Mommyhood

** Update ** Parker had a rough afternoon - he ended up falling asleep on his play mat while watching Pinky Dinky Doo on Noggin. It's what made him happy. He had a fever - I took all his clothes off and let him be in his diaper, did a cold compress and some water - it helped! He fever broke and he's almost back to normal temp. He is just so snotty. He is really unhappy about that, and wants to eat, but it seems to be hard with all the snot in his head. He is asleep right now, Drew has been helping a lot so it's been great to have help.

I am doing better...it's hard. He had a doctor appointment already tomorrow morning for his Synagis shot, we will have him looked at too...

I am going to go, just keep praying for us.

**end edit**

I really really hate this part of mommy hood. I hate when he gets sick and has a fever. I hate when he cries because he doesn't feel good.

I am just sad and want to make it all better right now and can't.

Pray for us? Thanks...

Sorry this is not that thrilling today - Parker won't allow much more than 5 minutes at a time to be on here. He is in need of mom cuddles...he is down now for a nap, so I am taking the time to ask for some prayer!

Hope you are all having a better Monday than me.

Prayer For Parker

Tonight I went out to a Mom's Night Out with my meet up group and got home and have been losing my mind and my nerves ever since. Parker has been coughing/hacking like something is caught in his throat and breathing weird...he got himself super worked up and lost his breath. He also has a weird rash....anyway, we called the doctor, and she said to prop him up (he's sleeping in a chair thing) and turn on the humidifier. And to watch his breathing and such. If he gets worse, turns blue and he gets a fever, we have to take him to children's. At this point as of right now (11:38) fine. He is in our room with us in his chair and with his blanket over him. We are supposed to call his Dr. in the morning (since he is on call) and go from there (unless we end up at Children's).

SO PLEASE PLEASE PRAY for him...all seems ok right now (thank God) but it's going to be a long night because he is obviously irritated and mommy and daddy are nervous and on edge.

I will keep everyone posted.


3:49am

Well at about 1 am we finally got Parker to sleep. He was breathing just fine. He had to walk up and down the hallway for what seemed like hours (but was probably only 30 mins) and then I rocked him and he was out. He just woke up at 3:30 am and we fed him and he was happy with that and then started his weird breathing thing again. It seems to me that anytime he needs to cough something up, it like gets stuck and he attempts to clear out his throat. Well, he got some stuff up and now we are attempting to get him back to sleep....The good news is once he gets the stuff coughed up, he's fine and just a bit fussy and breaths just dandy. I plan to call the dr's office later around 9 am and go from there. Boy, this parent thing is not easy!

10:30am

Parker is sleeping just fine in his bed, no breathing issues since around 4 am. I am noticing that every time he eats and then is done, it flares up. It's like whatever phlem or gunk wants to come up is too thick or whatever and gets stuck and he has to attempt to clear his throat and cough it up...thus causing the weird breathing. I am currently waiting on a call back from the dr. to see if he suggests anything else or wants to see Parker. I am so tired....we were up most of the night with Parker.

Continued Prayers Please

Hello friends,

I wrote yesterday about my blog friend MckMama and her son Stellan. I am taking this moment to ask you, again to pray for this sweet little boy. He has been positively diagnosed with RSV. This can be very serious and in fact, Stellan has an intubation tray by his bed just in case.

While I don't know this family personally I love them as I would love my friends I do know personally. Please take a moment and say a prayer for this family and swing by their blog and leave some love too!

(And not that this even compares, but if you could pray for me, I have the flu and feel terrible.)

Thanks friends! :)

Tell Tale Signs Your Sick...

1) You are pretty sure that ice is not as cold as you are, yet, the sun is not as hot as you are either.

2) You are only able to get comfy and sleep on the floor of your walk in closet.

3) You are sleeping on the floor of your walk in closet because its carpet and its right through your bathroom, which contains your porcelain sick catching container.

4) You hug said container for an hour on and off...sleep for about 20 minutes in the closet and hug it for another hour.

5) You still feel that urge to hug it, but nothing wants to come out.

6) You are so dizzy and sensitive to light and sound you consider building a bed in your closet because it's the quietest, darkest place you can find.

7) You can barely pick up your son who wants food.

8) You are sitting in bed currently writing this post, your head is throbbing, you husband is making you pasta with nothing on it, saltines are a delight and you are watching Jon and Kate plus 8.


I feel icky :(