Positive Polly

Just call me positive Polly. One thing I so desperately want to work on is my constant negativity and worry. Now don't get me wrong, I am a happy person, but I am also a pessimist. I definitely see the glass half empty most of the time. And it certainly doesn't help that I worry. I can literally worry myself sick at times. Last night after life group (which was AWESOME btw) I got to thinking, what do I hold to tightly too and what does God want me to give up and let him control. My list was long, but the one that I know needs immediate attention is my being a negative Nelly or a worry Wanda. For me, these go hand in hand. Just call me Nelly Wanda Northern ;)

So, I am going to make it a habit of being more positive and pointing out the good things in my life. Drew suggested that I do that and honestly, I think it's a GREAT idea. It gets me thinking more positively and if I put it down in writing and share it with all of you, then you can hold me accountable for my positivity.

Don't get me wrong - I know this going to be hard, but I am choosing to be more positive. So without further adeu - my thankful nugget for today:

- I am thankful that I get to go down to Jeffersonville and hang out with one of my best friends one Mrs. Brandee Reasor. She was my college roommate (one of them) and we are super close. She lives in Cincy with her husband and kitty's and I really miss her. So we decided to do a small day trip to get some girl time. She is my sanity, she knows me so well and she knows how to make me feel so much better. She gets me like no one else. We have that special relationship where we can just be and sit and not talk. I'll admit, living together in college was sometimes challenging - we are two different people, but we always worked through our problems. She was my special helper in my wedding. She was my go-fer, she was my sanity, she hugged me right before I went down the isle, she kept me calm, she was just there for me. And I got to be in her wedding, and it was super special to watch her get married to an amazing man. So yah, I am so excited for today. See you soon roommate!

Please Meet Brandee:

So like I said, Brandee was my hugger/sanity/helper at my wedding - and boy did I need that!


She was such a beautiful bride! And look, I wore makeup!


Ah, the "angry look." We had this running joke in college. That started one day with another friend, Brandee and I were both in a particularly bad mood that day and one of our things swore we were angry with each other. We weren't, but that friend made up this "fight" between us. Since then, anytime we pretend to be angry, we do evil eyes and get attitude!


Oh gosh, this dates me. College 2005? Yah, my hair is a hot mess, but we were trying to be cool. Notice that dorm in the background...yah, room was not to be had!

Asthma and Sitters

Dear Asthma - YOU VACUUM (get it vacuum's suck?) and I STRONGLY DISLIKE YOU! YOU MAKE MY LIFE DIFFICULT and STRESS ME OUT. And I don't even have you!

Since Parker's ER visit on Dec. 21st I am finally starting to see his triggers, namely, this cold weather. He'd been fine, hadn't need any treatments and had been breathing fine since we saw his doctor on Christmas Eve. Then Sunday, boom, it hit. Don't think I didn't try to stop it...I mean, I bundled him up a lot: huge puffy coat (that might weigh more than him), gloves, hat, layers...but no, by the time he woke up from his nap at 4 that afternoon...he needed a treatment. Then he needed another before bed. And I went to bed super frustrated and bitter about the whole thing.

I am trying to learn Park's triggers...and it seems that the cold air outside is one. Which makes sense if you consider he started out with lung issues and the cold air can cause his lungs to be agitated and tighten. So thanks to this realization, I probably won't take him out much at all. At least not until the weather is warmer. He's always been fine when it's in the high 30's and higher, so until we see those days with little wind, we will stay in as much as possible. Don't get me wrong, obviously I will have to take him out at least on Sunday, but I am going to try to do my best to keep the cold air away from him...blanket anyone?

Which leads me to my next predicament. A sitter. I am not going to trust just anyone with my Park, sorry, I can't afford too. Which is making finding a sitter hard. I have plenty of friends who could watch him every now and then, but I would have to take him to them and I'd like to avoid that. I really would need someone that I could call up on a moments notice and be like, "Hey, need to do some grocery shopping, can you come play with Parker?" i don't know whether it would be good to post a craigslist ad for one or not. I feel like an employer, I want references and I want them to be CPR and First Aid certified. I want them to have experience and feel comfortable with a child who likely has asthma and who is my everything. Is this too much to ask? I don't want to sound harsh though... or no one will be interested. So what do you think, should I put up an ad and make sure that those interested know that I am going to be a bit picky in whom I choose.

Also, what's a good rate for a sitter? I haven't a clue on how much I should pay them. It's only going to be a few days a month and 2-3 hours those days. I hate this. I wish it were easier.

Advice would be appreciated on this...I have no clue how to handle finding a sitter and figuring pay and knowing what to ask those who are interested....

Out with the Old, In with the New

First of all, HAPPY 2010* everyone. I hope that your Christmas and New Years were good ones. Ours was fantastic! Lots of family, fun, food and rest.

*(That's twenty ten, none of this two thousand ten junk!)

2009 wasn't a half bad year for us. Sure we had our share of ups and downs, but considering we started the new year with a tiny little man and now we have a precious little toddler and we are happy, that's all that matters. I saw my son turn 1, have two seperate ER visits, be (mostly) diagnosed with asthma, be diagnosed with allergies, start walking, and now he's a jabbering fool who can actually use a fork and likes to throw his plate on the floor. Not too shabby. Parker's a true toddler now and growing physically and mentally each day. Our saw my marriage have a bit of a bump, but now it's stronger than ever. I saw my husband get another raise and watched him grow. And I saw myself grow tremendously, get a job I adore, a car I love and new friends to last a lifetime. All in all, 2009 wasn't too bad.

BUT OUT WITH THE OLD....

AND IN WITH THE NEW....

2010....day 2 of this year and already it's been pretty darn good. My step - sister had my nephew Dalton yesterday (1-1-10) at 9:13 am (he was the first baby born in that hospital in the new year. He's currently in the NICU for some lung issues, but is doing well. He was 7lbs, 6ozs and 19 inches long. He's a cute little man! I got to see many of my friends happy when the Bucks made dinner out of the Ducks in the Rose Bowl! And today, I got to enjoy a quiet afternoon with my two men and I get to go on a date tonight to see Avatar in 3D - so that should be fun. Oh and I get Chipotle for dinner. Some of you may not be thrilled, but I am!

I am looking forward to 20-10. I am not sure what all is in store and I am sure God has some plans that I may not enjoy, but nevertheless, I am excited. My baby boy, born at only 29 weeks, will turn two in May. He's car seat will FINALLY be flipped probably in the next few days. I will celebrate my 5 year wedding anniversary on Aug. 6 with a trip to either Chi-town or NYC. I will get to see my youngest brother, Brandon graduate from high school in June. And who knows what else really. I do look forward to it.

Oh did I also mention that the first meal I made in 20-10 was a delicious slow cooker full of ham and bean soup? Without a recipe? Yah, I am that good! We had a ton of left over ham from Christmas and I wanted to use it up and do something different. I happened to have some dry navy beans so I thought...hmmmm....let's try. It was easy peasy lemon squeezy! Want me to share what I did? Well fine, you twisted my arm...yeesh.

Ham N Bean Soup A'la Deni:

1.5 cups dry Navy Beans
Ham (I would say I had probably about 1.5 - 2 cups once I chopped it up)
1/2 an onion, sliced,
1 piece of celery chopped
6 cups of water
1.5 bullion cube (beef)

****The Dry beans need prepped first. I just did mine by soaking over night in a big bowl with 5 cups of water. I leave it on the counter and vent the lid a bit.****

I mixed all the ingredients in the slow cooker, added some spices, rosemary and thyme and pepper and cooked on low for 6 hours.

That's it folks. I mean, obviously their is the prep and all, but that's it. The beans cook great in the sc** and it ends up being yummy. I started out with 4 cups of water, but once the beans expanded I added two more. It made the soup not to thin and not too thick.

**slow cooker

Well that's my first recipe of 20-10. Let's write that one down in the record books! :)

I'll update again soon!

Just Breathe

Well, as promised I am back after the craziness of Christmas to update you on how things are. I decided to entitle this, "Just Breathe" for several reasons, but mostly because I need to be and just breathe. It's been a VERY busy month and it was topped off with an amazing program at Vista where we saw over 2,000 people come over three performances to hear the story of Hope! It was truly amazing. I cried some because of just how powerful it felt just being in the choir on stage. There was a very special testimony that I would love for you to watch. It's from Billy and Amy and it's just moving! It's the story of Hope. And it's beautiful.

We had several friend and family come into town to see the program and enjoyed spending time with all of them!

The Monday before Christmas I had to take Parker to the ER. He was having breathing issues and his albuterol was not at all helping. It was scary, but he's ok now. He does have asthma and so we will be learning more about how to deal with that. I won't lie, I am not happy about it, but I am thankful that it is nothing more serious.

Drew's parents came out for Christmas and we enjoyed having them around. I enjoyed them taking care of Parker for me. Christmas was great, we all got some wonderful presents. Some of my favs include: my Colts Snuggie! (Go Blue!), a hand made scarf, a scarf Drew got me at Forever 21 (it's so pretty), and a picture frame that says meow and has a picture of my kitty. I miss her :(

Parker got some great gifts...and enjoys all of them! Also, please be praying for Tabatha and Logan, he's been super sick and they are currently at the ER. I wish I knew how to help her.

So I think I am going to go and just breathe and be. If I don't say it before Friday - Happy New Year. I hope you have a blessed 2010

Hello Strangers...

Well, I have totally stunk at updating this thing recently and I greatly apologize. I can honestly say things have been super busy and this took a back seat for a while. However, I need this blog and I am planning to REALLY try to update it better. How many times recently have I said that? I am serious though. I also know that some of you may be reading this because my wonderful in-laws added in our blog address for Parker updates. And I would hate for you to not get any!

Speaking of which - Parker is doing wonderful. His vocabulary has grown a lot recently. We are currently seeing him use these words frequently:
- Mama (or meme)
- Dada
- Uh-oh (comes out more like ohhhhh)
- Yah
- Oh yah
- No (thankfully, he doesn't say this often, he does nod his head)
- Cookie (more like ook) (like hook without the h)
- Hot Dog (haha, this is his newest - gog - like dog with a g)
- Elmo (ok so this one is more like ehmo)
- Hoo, Hoo

Not to shabby! I am sure this ST* will be impressed considering last time she was here we didn't even get half of that! He walks and climbs on everything. He's hysterical really...and a pain at times. He's been in this mood of testing recently. Like for example, let's see what mommy does when I try to eat my night light. (Not the best night and no worries he didn't hurt himself and it's now where he cant reach it). Parker can successfully go up and down stairs, though we keep the stairway closed off to him unless we are actually going down them to get out of our apartment. He is quite the eater and we are working on using sippys. He uses the kind with straws, but the therapist would prefer we use the other kind.

In general, we are all ok. Very very busy this month (hence the lack of updates). The first week of dec. was crazy, we had something going on every day. Last week, not too bad, this week - two christmas parties, and then our Christmas church concert Fri - Sun. And we have guests Friday, Sat. and sunday! Oh yah, fun times! And then next week the in-laws get here for Christmas. I am so excited. I love spending time with them.

I may not update the rest of the week, hopefully you can understand that it's just that time of year. Please be praying for me, I am so burnt out. I am drained emotionally, physically, spiritually and really need next week. Pray for Hope:The Invitation my church christmas program! I can't wait and I want it to touch people! Pray for safe travels for my dad and stepmom (they are coming sat), for our friend Dave (coming Friday) and for Brandee and Rick (coming sat) and for safe travels for my in-laws.

I hope you all enjoy your Christmas! Sorry I won't be around much! I will try maybe one more update between now and next wed.

Hugs

Guest Post - Cheryl from Lips Unzipped

I asked a new friend a couple weeks ago to share her preemie story. Unfortunately, last week I wasn't able to post her story because of a trip to Indiana and no internet, but this week, I am thrilled to introduce you to Cheryl from Lips Unzipped!

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Hi everyone!!! Denise recently asked if anyone would be willing to write a guest post on preemies, since it is prematurity awareness month! I’ll introduce myself a little bit and then get into the nitty gritty details! I’m Cheryl, a 28 year old mom to 2 beautiful little girls. Lauren who is almost 3 and Jillian who turned 1 in September. Married to my “soul mate” (sound sickening?? Well, I didn’t believe in soul mates either until I met Adam) we’ve been together for almost 10 years, married for almost 5.

My first daughter, Lauren was born at 38 weeks, 1 day. Via c-section. I had been having pretty regular contractions and she was sitting VERY low in my pelvis. I actually started with preterm labour on Christmas Eve of 2006. Lauren is my “atypically” developing child. No serious complications after birth, nothing that would ever clue me into problems we might have with subsequent children. My wish was always to have a large family, since I’m an only child. However, it didn’t work out that way!

Jillian is the icing to our cake, I guess. My worrying about her started at 12 weeks gestation. When I had the triple screen done to check for chromosomal defects. I went to the doctor and he told me that my levels for Downs Syndrome and Spina Bifida were raised. Adam and I opted to have an amnio, not that we would have done anything with the results, we just needed to know. Come to find out, Jillian’s chromosomes were all there, happy, healthy and accounted for. My doctor warned that it might be a placental problem, so, we’d have to keep an eye on it.

Now while I was pregnant, I met a wonderful friend Anna. Who actually had a 26 weeker. I visited them on a regular basis and hoped that I would be BEGGING Jillian to vacate my body. Almost a month after Noel was born, I was walking back from visiting him and noticed that my pants and underwear were wet. It was summer. I started making excuses about why it might be happening. “Maybe I peed myself?” (Jillian was also a frank breech presentation) “Maybe Jillian kicked something?” Lauren needed a nap, so, I laid down to get some rest when she fell asleep. When I stood up, I felt a small gush. I panicked. I was 29 weeks, 3 days. I immediately called Adam and asked him to come home.

Fast forward 4 days. My doctor and I had already discussed that I was going to have a repeat c-section. I REALLY wanted a VBAC, but, my uterine scar was thinning. I was put on complete hospital bedrest for 4 days. I was only allowed up to use the bathroom, oh and a 5 minute shower every 2 days, where a nurse would stand outside and knock when my time was up. I felt like a prisoner, but I was willing to do anything to keep Jillian inside! Luckily, Adam was able to stay home with Lauren and they made twice daily treks to the hospital.

September 8th, 2008 marked the day that Jillian entered our family. She was born at 30 weeks gestation. Jillian gave us a scare the night before she was born when her heart rate was up to 190 bpm. She settled down and I attempted to sleep. My doctor arrived in the morning (after being on call all night) and did an ultrasound. I was contracting every 10 minutes, but it wasn’t painful at all. I thought it was Braxton hicks and that it would go away. He checked my cervical length and dilation through the ultrasound since my water had broken, they didn’t want to introduce any bacteria. At 8am, I was completely closed, not effaced, feeling I had nothing to worry about.

By 10 o’clock, I was having to breathe through contractions and concentrate. I paged my nurse (who immediately came running because she knew I didn’t page them unless absolutely necessary) my nurse paged the resident on call. They were all trying to decide if they should take me to labour and delivery to monitor my contractions, or just take Jillian out. The resident decided to check to see if I were dilating. I had made it to 3 cms (in less than 2 hours). Since my blood pressure was so low, they couldn’t put me on ANY drugs to stop the contractions. So, it was go time. I asked them how long I had before we went to the OR. I was told 10 minutes, TOPS. I IMMEDIATELY called Adam and told him to get to the hospital. Thankfully a nurse and a social worker were able to watch Lauren. By the time my spinal was placed they checked me again and I was 6 cms dilated, guess it is true that you go faster with your second baby!

Since Jillian was breech, when the doctors lifted her out, they flashed me her bum before heading to the NICU. I was so upset to be separated from her, but, I knew she was in VERY competent hands. Considering her gestational age, it really surprised EVERYONE that she cried when she was born.
After spending 5 weeks in the NICU, Jillian FINALLY got to come home on Thanksgiving Monday (October 13, 2008- we’re Canadian, eh?!) I thought that our battle with prematurity was over . Sure, we had TONS of doctors visits and other things to keep her healthy, but I didn’t think we’d see any long term effects.

In November of 2008, Jillian was hospitalized briefly for a blue spell. She stopped breathing for 5 seconds, twice. HOW SCARY! They decided to do a head ultrasound while we were there (VERY common in preemies) they did see that she had a PVL and told me it could lead to Cerebral Palsy. Obviously devastated, I wanted to be able to fight for Jillian. We ended up having another head ultrasound in February of 2009. Fortunately, they saw that her PVL was gone. Adam and I were ecstatic. Unfortunately, her soft spot was fusing, so they didn’t get an accurate picture.

Jillian is developmentally delayed, with VERY high muscle tone in her legs and trunk. Depending on early intervention, we started therapies. In September of 2009, Jillian’s fabulous doctor decided that she needed a sedated MRI to see if there were any underlying causes of her delays and muscle tone. It was then we learned that the PVL wasn’t gone, in fact, it had gotten bigger. Obviously upset again, I decided we needed to fight harder for Jillian.

As of October 22nd, 2009, Jillian has been diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy. We don’t know the type or severity yet as we have to see what Jillian will do on her own. Our hopes are high that Jillian will over come this, but we also have to be realistic about the whole thing. Jillian’s CP is a result of her early birth. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would have a “special needs” baby. Not that I’m close minded or anything like that. But, I think we as parents NEVER want to hear that there is something wrong with your child.

We are now awaiting so many specialists I don’t know when I’ll ever be able to sleep. Jillian is our icing on the cake, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

In which a title doesn't explain it...

God is really working in my life right now and while it took me FOREVER to see it, I am so glad I finally open up my eyes to all the good things he is doing. A couple weeks ago I wrote about issues I was going through and made you all sit here and wonder, what the HECK is up with her, and if you didn't...oh well! Well, little did I know God was doing something - he's always doing something - and I tend to be completely blind at first. Who isn't?

First of all, lets say those issues - GONE! Even better than that - it was all in my head! YES! I knew I was going crazy! :) It's so funny to me now, looking back, a lot of the issues with the issues were created by me - not stepping up and listening when I should have been. Yah, I like to think I am in charge - but God has other plans.

I have realized a lot over the past 2 days that God has really blessed me! I mean I knew it but now, now I KNOW it...and all it took was a sermon, 2 bonfires and an email! :) (and a partridge in a pear tree).

Pastor Mike's sermon this sunday was about God rocking our world. He discussed Act 16 - in which Paul and Silas were in jail. It really hit me as Pastor Mike talked about how they waited. Waiting for me - well lets say I am not a waiter...I am impatient...yet here this innocent men are, in jail, and rather than giving in and giving up and walking away, they waited. I mean...they could have just been like, "ok God, seriously, we are SO over this.." but they didn't. They waited until God has accomplished what he wanted and then they left. Pastor Mike brought up the thought, ya know, after the earthquake the doors were open....P and S could have just left while the guard slept - but nooooo, they stayed, they waited. WHAT? I mean, awesome. I have to admit, God has really rocked my world in my life...and I will also admit that there have been some incidents in which I did not wait...and I regret that. But the times I stayed and waited and saw what God had in store - man, they did rock my world. This sermon seriously just hit me...in a good way.

Sunday evening was the Vista staff bonfire at our friend's the Webbs. God opened up my eyes during the bonfire. See, these are people that most of the time I only spend time with at church or church functions. For example Pastor Mike's awesome wife - see I have only ever seen her at something church related - rather a actual sunday service, choir practice or program. It was cool for me to see her in a new way - like any other women...I am so used to her being the illusive Tammy Smith, wife of the pastor...but I tend to forget she's just like me. It was good for me to see her and others in the relaxed environment. As I sat with these amazing people...it hit me, God has placed some amazing people in my life...I am VERY fortunate. I left that evening very content and thrilled to call these people my friends.

Then last night...bonfire #2. This was with my old life group. And once again I realized - I have been blessed with amazing friends. It was great to see Parker playing with the other kids and friends. My son has some very special friends in that group. I am so glad he is going to grow up knowing them. The bonfire last night made me miss that life group...i mean, it seems like this group has been through a lot together and these are friends that I will have for a long time. We have invested in each other a lot and it's good to know that we all connect well. Once again - God showed me what I hadn't been seeing.

Then this morning - I received an email. I am not sure if I have posted it on here, but I have been praying for a while to make friends in my apartment complex. See, this complex is full of young families and we have lived here a year now and I knew no one really. I got to know the couple below us a bit, but they moved out in June and I ended up feeling very lonely. I didn't know anyone, I was too shy to put myself out there, even though it wouldn't have been that hard. Well about a month ago, maybe a little longer a new couple moved in below us. They have a little boy and I decided to take them some cookies when they were moving in. We talked a bit and introduced ourselves to each other. Then nothing - we didn't really see each other much and when we did, it was more of a hi - bye deal. After we got back from vacation in Sept. they brought us some cookies and thanked us for welcoming them. Then again - nothing...hi-byes. Until last week. I was sitting here watching some Tv and Parker was napping - there was a knock on my door. It was S, the mom, asking me if I would like to go on a walk with her and her son. Parker was napping, but I told her that once he woke up, we'd join her. We went on a walk around the complex and got to know each other. We discussed maybe hosting play groups with some others in complex and evening getting together to have dinner. I emailed her to thank her for the walk and invite her to my Mommies and Munchkins group and didn't hear back from her. I tried not to let it bother me, but it did and I felt like maybe I had made a bad impression or something. Well this morning I got an email from her. She was genuinely happy to meet me and wanted to try to get together weekly to talk and what not.

I don't know why I sit here blind to God's provisions and blessings and direction, but I am going to start watching and looking for those opportunities more.

God is like cool and stuff!

Following the Leader

God's been up to something recently in the Northern household and it is great to see His direction coming to fruition. For a while now Drew and I have been praying, seeking God's wisdom and desiring to host our own life group (some call it small group) but didn't really know anything other than the desire. We've kind of just been waiting on the right time or a clear "Go" to do so. Well, God's been up to something.

See, our church has been multiplying - there are a lot more young families now and there are ones that are desiring more connections with others. It's great to see our church having such a positive affect in the community. Being the administrative assistant for the kids community, I see weekly how our kids community is impacted by the growth of our church and the new families coming in to visit or even join. I do attendance weekly and I add at least one new family a week as a visitor and I see a lot continue to come back - it's awesome. It's a positive thing for me to be able to pour into these families through the Kids Community and now, God is leading Drew and I in another way we can pour into these families.

Through Life Group!

I have been a part of a life group now for almost 2 years (maybe less - it's been at least a year) and I have loved every. single. moment. of the time I have spent with this group of young families. I am BLESSED to call them my friends and am thankful that we were able to be in a group together. Our leaders of our group - the S.1 family, have been amazing to us. They have poured into us and the rest of the families in this group. The entire group and many other people outside of it came along side us when Parker was born. It was then that I knew what it was like to have a family other than my parents. I have a church family who loves me and my family and I am thankful for that. Anyways, back to the group. Our kids our growing up together and will always (I hope anyway) remain close and remain friends.

It's great that young families are multiplying, sadly, though, we haven't had a lot of life groups that have met that age group. Until this time. Our group is happily multiplying (I refuse to say breaking apart - because it's good, not bad!) and we are going to be helping out our friends the S. 2 family (another family that starts with S) in another group! I guess you could say kind of like co-leaders, though are names aren't officially on the sign up sheet, we plan to be be a part of this group and invest very much in the new families that come into it. Some of the families I will know, others, are new at church and I am excited to be able to come along S 2 family and help lead and love on these other families.

God has really been preparing Drew and I for this moment - and while no, we aren't the actual leaders it's great practice and training for one day actually leading our own. Personally, I am not this big public speaker person - I get flustered and forget what I am going to say, use strange words, or forget what word I want to use. But I have been getting better. I feel like my role with the Kids Community has started setting me up for that, as well as other experiences. I want to be the blessing to someone that the S. 1 family and other families in our LG have been to us.

So for those of you reading this from our LG, consider this our official announcement that we are helping to start another LG and we are so excited! We will miss everyone and our weekly get together, but we still plan to be a part of your lives as often as we can! This doesn't mean we can't talk anymore, just means we will see a little less of each other.

I look forward to seeing what God has in store for the new LG and I can't wait to meet new people.

God is so good!

Prayer Requests

Hi Friends,

Don't have a lot to say really. it's been a long few days - and I have a couple of prayer requests to share with you.

First, please pray for our family as we mourn the death of Drew's aunt Sharon. She's been ill for quite some time and passed away yesterday afternoon. Please pray for Gary, her husband and children Mindy and Tommy as well as the rest of the family and friends.

Also, please be in pray for a family in my church. The 16 year old boy was hit by a car on Friday evening and is in serious, but stable condition. He has a head injury and some broken bones. He has a long road to recovery and is obviously in a lot of pain.

Thanks guys! I don't expect that I will post again for awhile as we are heading to Indiana for Sharon's services.

When Life Hands You Lemons...

...make lemonade.

Easier said then done if you ask me!

I have been thinking a lot recently. Thinking be a good thing for me or a bad thing. But recently, it's been a good thing - or at least I would like to believe it has been. I have been thinking a lot about things in my life that have shaped me into who I am today. My life has been far from easy and while I don't remember much from when I was young, I can remember the first moment I realized life is so not fair all the time.

Easter 1998 -
Oh man, I remember this like it was yesterday. i walked into to church that morning to a very somber and sad mood. I was met at the door by one of our elders, who went on to tell me that Pastor Danny has passed away suddenly that morning while preparing to get into costume for our sunrise service. I remember my heart sinking into my chest - Pastor Danny and his wife Marilyn were like another set of parents to me. I had promised Pastor Danny that I would be going to church camp that summer with him and others from church as a jr. counselor. I couldn't understand why this had happened - as far as I knew, he was perfectly healthy and was rather young - but God needed him. I can remember feeling so cheated when he passed away. But looking back I have learned a lot from that experience - I never once took another person for granted. I attempt to live my life to make Danny proud - I want him to be looking down on me saying, "Denise, I am so proud of you!" Of course I want to make family and friends proud too, but for some reason, his approval is so important to me. Also, I got a lot closer to Marilyn after his death. Because I really struggled with it and turned to her a lot to just talk...that closeness would be the reason why I got through so many other hard things in my life.

2000 -
My parents divorced in 2000. I won't go into all the messy details, but lets just say it was an incredibly hard time for my family. My mom made some lousy decisions - which lead to the separation - which lead to my dad becoming very depressed and making the decision to try suicide. When that happened - I went and stayed with Marilyn for a while. I was angry at my mom, scared for my dad and did not want to be at home at all. Marilyn really helped me through that time - she became like a mom to me. I felt like I could only talk to her - my anger towards my mom and the hurt over my dad just was too much to talk to them. Both my parents are remarried now and happy - and I have rebuilt my relationship with my mom - but I can definitely understand what I learned out of this - I will not get divorced. I will not repeat any poor decisions made by either of my parents, I will enjoy my marriage, be open, honest and communicate. I feel like my marriage is as strong as it is because of what I learned from my parents divorce. I also believe it is strong because God is the center of our marriage and church and following Him is a top priority.

Oct. 6 2001 -
Where do I even begin with this one? Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes and my heart just sank in my chest. This was the day that I lost my best friend and to this day, I still hurt about it. *Tay (name changed for certain reasons) did not have the easiest of lives. She moved to Warsaw to live with a family in my church - her foster parents. I don't remember us really hitting it off, though we may have, but I do remember that we did end up with an amazing friendship. This girl was seriously one of my best friends. I could tell her anything, we had so many inside jokes that even today I chuckle at times thinking about how she would respond. She really helped my though my parent's divorce too, she was there for me to talk to and enjoy time with. But then she started dating someone and I got mad, jealous and in my stupid high school mind decided it would be good to pick a fight - STUPID idea. We stopped talking, avoided each other - for well over 6 months. Some how - and I still don't remember how - we started talking again. The summer of 01 before I went to college, we served at church camp as counselors together for 4th grade week and we were mostly back to our old ways. We didn't talk much, college had me busy and her schedule at school was pretty busy as well. I went home on Oct. 5 for a quick overnight trip and has just gotten back to college when a call came from Marilyn (she worked at the college I attended) telling me to call her immediately. I called her and she came to my dorm and met me in the common room to give me the news. Tay had been in a car accident - and had went to be with our Lord. To say I was devastated would be a complete understatement. She was only 17, just started her senior year - it was SO UNFAIR. We had finally gotten our friendship back and she was gone. I miss her, so much, she'd love Parker. Through all of that though, I learned to enjoy my friendships even more. I have never picked a fight again - I'd like to think of Tay as a guardian angel. She is one of two pictures I have on my visor in my car - the other - my miracle boy.

May 29, 2008 -
Well, we all know what happened here.

I guess I share this with you to tell you that I have learned a lot. My faith in God has grown in the past 11 years - and while there are many things I have left out, I can honestly say that I have learned so much and I do my best to live life to the fullest and fully rely on God. Lessons I have learned through just these 4 incidents I shared and many more I haven't, I have done my best to grow out of them.

I feel strong and loved and like I have so much to offer.

So, when life hands you lemons (whatever they are) do your best to grow out of those lemons. Make lemonade - or lemon shake ups. God knows what he's doing, even if we don't get it. It's not really our place to get it, God asks us to trust and have faith and we should do that.

God's good, even in all the hard stuff.

Because He Loves Me....

I am going to be honest for a moment - I am having a flare up of my PPD. This allergy stuff with Parker/just general lies of satan have really really been getting to me recently. Sunday, we finished up our sermon series on Psalm 23 and we ended with a discussion on God being enough. I am really really good at forgetting this. Our pastor shared a song with us that his wife put in the cd player in the car. What the pastor says just really gets me, it's not even the song - it's both really, but especially what the pastor says.



Right around the 1:25 minute mark is what I am talking about. It really hit home for me. I seem to think that God only loves me if I am perfect or only if I am good. I love when it says, "He won't love you any better if you become better..." I mean, I figured, God will only love me 100% when I am 100%. But it doesn't matter...HE LOVES ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME BECAUSE HE LOVES ME.

I am trying to live that out and remember that daily, but I am not going to lie, it's so hard. satan lies to me, he plays on my negative frailty. He knows when I am at my lowest and makes me feel even lower. Why do I listen to his stupid, pathetic lies. Well because when I am down at my lowest, I believe anything.

See, I thought that my PPD had gone away. I can't even begin to tell you how happy I have been. I even attempted (in June) to wean off my meds. But when I got to my lowest dose, I could not function. I had no engery, no desire to do anything and I neglected poor Parker. I quickly called the dr. and decided that it would be best to stay on. It scares me, to know that I need this pills right now, ya know? But I know that I need it and I am working though it. I see now that my PPD is not gone! Yes, I am generally happier and much more normal, but there are things that trigger my intense feelings of sadness.

Recently, as I said above, it has been dealing with Parker's allergy stuff. I am so mad that he may have allergies, because I don't want to deal with having to work around them. How completely selfish is that? I feel like it's the worst thing ever, but I know it's not. It just allergies, he can be on meds, he could grow out of some of them. While at this point we still don't have his results, it doesn't matter, it can be worked around. Also recently, I have been really hard on myself. I hate how I look, I hate my body, I hate my hair...I just hate it all. And I know God loves me how I am - looks and all. I also know that He made me this way for a reason, but I am tired of it. I have desires to be able to shop at Target and fit into clothes that aren't followed by x's. I want to be able to go into the Gap and enjoy the outfits there. I want my hair to not be so thick and annoying.

And then Sunday comes around and pastor shares the cd of the above video. Wow, I mean talk about a reminder. Monday night I have a melt down about parker's allergies and such and my husband shows me this:



I mean really? It's like God is orchestrating something here. Two songs that really really hit home for me and help me. I get it...

- He loves me because he loves me because he loves me - no matter what.
- He is jealous for me...really, he is jealous for me, lil' ol me! Wow

Thank you God, for loving me - faults, sadness, and all!

1 Parker + 1 Dog = Allergy Tests Galore!

Some of you follow me on facebook, others on twitter, some know me personally and already know this, but I want to share with you our current situation with Parker.

Saturday (Aug. 8) Parker and I went over to my friend Chrissy's new house. She has two precious dogs - Daisy and Darby. Parker was on the floor loving on Darby and she loving on him. They stopped for a brief moment and I noticed that poor Parker was red every spot where he'd been licked. I didn't think much of it, figured, hey, he's never been around dogs really (we have a cat) so it's probably just a small irritation. In fact, Chrissy and I giggled about it! Then, Parker started to itchy really bad - then puff up, and then hives started showing up. I took him to urgent care and it was confirmed that Parker had an allergic reaction to dog saliva.

Today, Parker woke up with a fever (totally unrelated to the allergy issue) and so knowing we needed to follow up anyways and being concerned by the highness of the fever I made a sick appointment. Parker has a virus, should be gone by the end of the week at the latest.

And here's where the fun comes in - Dr. D wants Parker to have allergy tests done. So tomorrow, we are going to a lab and he will get check for allergies to - dog dander and saliva, cat dander and saliva, wheat, soy and milk! We pretty much already know about the dog saliva - which means we can't even have a hypoallergenic dog - those are dander "proof" only). There is the possibility of cat allergies - which could explain his on going eczema. And the food, that's mainly precautionary, but again, it could also explain the eczema.

So I am a bit bummed. I love cats and dogs and now, we may need to get rid of our cat and we won't be able to get a dog. I realize down the road that Parker could very likely outgrow some intolerance to dogs, but still, its a huge bummer. Also, we will probably have to be prepared for asthma testing and such too. Woohoo!

I am taking this hard. Not sure why, just am.

So if you could be praying for Parker and the tests and for me as I come to terms with it, I'd appreciate it!

Thanks

My Famous Friends...

Please meet the Tavinao family!


I have had the privilege of knowing this beautiful family for 3 years now and I adore each of them. Gabe and Marla and their 3 daughters, Livi, Ava and Nina just make my heart so happy. Gabe is an amazing website designer. He has designed not only both his and Marla's personal blogs, but also our church's as well as many many others. And Marla, oh man, where do I start when it comes to this woman. Her heart is so big and she is lovely. She is a writer that has written From Blushing Bride to Wedded Wife, Is That All He Thinks About, Changing your World, One Diaper at a Time, and her most recent Expecting. She is one of the sweetest and caring people I know. She has cheered me up and offered advice to me many a time. Their girls, the cutest stinking girls ever! (though they don't stink).

Just a normal american family, living in a normal american town, trusting God always and loving Him even more. A family who also loves to take pictures (I borrowed the one above) and who love animals. So when they decided to do 52 Zoos in 52 Weeks and Marla wanted to right a book about it, I wasn't too surprised. And they did it too, last Saturday was the big zoo 52 and we had a party at our home zoo here in Columbus.

Now all of a sudden, this family is being thrown into the spotlight. 10tv, one of our local stations started this and boy has it become a big thing. Being featured on the internet and this Saturday being able to share their story LIVE on the early show. I mean really?

I am so proud of them. Marla keeps posting tweets and what not about trusting God and this being bigger than what they had expected and that's true! God is certainly up to something and I am so glad to know this family and watch them share the Lord even if they aren't able to come right out and say it (though they normally do!)

And hey, now I can say I have famous friends, right? I am so thankful to know them and so thankful to see them representing God like they are and I pray that this publicity will be for God's glory!

I love you guys and I am rooting for you!

Here is the 52 Zoos info!

And enjoy getting to know my friends! They are like awesome and stuff!

Just Stuff

- First of all, I have to tell you all that Parker took his first step on Friday! I was sitting on the floor while he was playing and I picked him up and stood him up a few inches from me. (He can stand on his own without holding on to things) Next thing I know, he picks up his foot and takes a step forward and immediately falls into my arms. It was awesome! Yay bubba!

- I need prayer - I am praying about a few things - 1) Going to Cambodia: I am planning on doing it, I just need prayer to bring me to peace about being overseas, in a new country, several hours flying, being away from Drew and Parker. ANXIETY anyone? and 2) Prayer for getting in better shape. When I do go to Cambodia (thinking Feb?) I would like to be in better shape so that I am not killed by the heat and the activity. I already do mommies and munchkins 2 times a week, I want to start going out and walking on my own. Now that I have my iphone, I can use it as an ipod and I had Drew put a couple of playlists on it for me that will motivate me. 3) A Job - while this is no where near official - I know I should start praying now. There may possibly be an opportunity for me to get a part time job with my church - now I am not 100% sure on it...I don't know when it will happen...I don't know if I will be offered. I guess I just want prayer that God would open doors (either at church or other places) because the truth is, we could use an income from me...even if minimal. I am not ready to put Parker in a day care so I hope and pray I can find something that would allow me to bring him with me to work or work from home.

- My Zoo - do you use facebook? Do you know of this application? Oh my gosh, I am addicted to it. You basically build and manage your own zoo. I wish I earned more money faster...I'd like to know how my step sis has 8 million dollars to play with.

- Big Brother - any other fans out there? If there are I will rant later about it, if not, I won't make you read it!

- My week - it's looking like a busy week. I have mommies and munchkins tues, and then a leah sophia party I am hoping to go to. Wed Parker has an in home visit with his Help Me Grow case worker (She didn't lose her job in recent cuts PTL), Thursday we have a WIC appointment, then that night we are attending a dessert thing in which we will get to talk to Jen, our missionary in Cambodia that is currently home on furlough. Friday I am going to go to a local preschool concert thing with some friends!

- Apologies - I am sorry I have been lacking in updates - the truth is I feel like I am in a rut. But, I am hoping now that my moodiness and depression are under control I will be able to focus and write more frequently.

Pictures from the Weekend!

At the Zoo with Mommy


Hanging out with grandpa


Hanging with grandma


Saying hi to logan - his nicu buddy


I love his look in this one!


This is cute, with the flag at the parade!


Ready for the parade to start


Parker and Logan with grandparent (no Logan isn't related to us, but might as well be!)


NICU and Birthday Buddies


Feeding the Lorikeets


I love this picture.


***these were taken from his grandparents camera since I have yet to dump mine!

My Weekend Review!

Well hello there. First of all, to all who left me encouragement yesterday, THANK YOU! Stupid satan is like a virus and he made me sick yesterday - but today, I am better. I think I need a little more meds to knock the satan virus, but I feel a ton better. I want to say that I know my friends love me for me and are not my friends out of obligation - and I love them too, so very much! :)

Moving on...

This past weekend was BUSY! Thursday, my in laws got in town and we were able to relax and eat some KFC and just chill!

Friday was busy - we got up and headed to the zoo. It was so fun and cool, which was nice! We took a lot of pictures (all are still on the camera - as I am bad a dumping it!) I even got some fun pictures of the tigers. If you know anything about the Columbus Zoo, you know that the tiger exhibit has a big glass wall so when the tigers walk by, it's like you can touch them. Tigers are so beautiful! Parker liked watching them and touching the goats and watching the geese! We packed a lunch and enjoyed that. I yelled at two kids throwing rocks at a goose - no parents in site, so I said something! I can't stand when parents don't control their kids. Ugh - Parker helped me feed the lorikeets - he loved it!

After the zoo we came home and slept. We were all very very tired! After the nap we headed out to Marcella's up near Polaris. Friday was my mother in laws birthday, so we took her there. I got my gnocchi Bolognese (gnocchi with lamb basically!). After we got some cheesecake at the cheesecake factory, came home and played games. I kicked everyone's booty in Life - oh yah, I started as an artist with 10,000 to my name and 60,000 in loans. I ended with 1.5 million as a doctor. Too bad it's not real life! :) I think my favorite thing was my father in law - he didn't go to college, became an athlete, was beating us all in money, had a mobile home and then had a midlife crisis and lost most his money! Oh Pete, you make me smile :) We watched Red, White and Boom on TV.

Saturday was so much fun. We met Tabatha and Logan down in Hilliard for the Hilliard 4th of July Parade. it was a fun parade. The boys seemed to like it a lot and it was fun to feel like a big family with Tabatha and Logan, because honestly, they may as well be our family! The parade was long and fun and I got to pet a beautiful dog! By the end though, Parker and Logan were tuckered out, so we headed home and rested, Drew and his dad went and saw transformers and mom and I stayed home. I made a flag cake and watched Clean House (I am not addicted to the show!) I made Ham and Cheese Veggie Lasagna and we had fun just staying in that night.

Sunday - oh sunday. I was in charge of Kids Ministry. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Church was good, the whole 20 minutes I was actually in service that is, and I think for the most part, Kid's stuff went well. Both Amber and Cindy (the director and sunday manager) were gone. Being that I used to be heavily involved, I stepped in. It was hard because our normal classrooms were blocked off because of resurfacing, so we ended up scattered around. I had to make some executive decisions and make sure it was all going ok. I certainly am glad I don't do it all the time, but I did my best!

After church, we went out to eat with Mom and Dad and they headed back to Buffalo, we came home and did nothing all day!

Tomorrow - some pictures!

Tidbits: Hopes and Dreams, Revisiting Kids Bop, This week

Another Tidbit Post:

1) Hopes and Dreams

"You can say I'm a dreamer, but I am not the only one..." I have a lot on my heart recently, Good stuff, but a lot. My hopes and dreams grow daily. And one hope and dream and I am praying about working out is going to Cambodia next year to visit the orphanage that Vista sponsors. Our church is very connected to Asia's Hope, a wonderful ministry that offers hope to orphans! Our church has helped to build an orphanage home in Cambodia. We have a missionary over there currently, a lovely lady from our church that has been there for 10+ months and who will be home for a little bit at the end of this week and then returning back! We have sent many over to visit the orphanage and our children. Jen updates about them here: Asian Vista. Last Christmas, I completely fell in love with the kids when during our Christmas program we were able to do online talk through Skype during the program. Those kids are lovely and precious and I so want to go hug each one. Recently, my heart is being tugged on and I am praying about going on a trip to Cambodia the next time we as a church send some another Vista group. To be honest, this SCARES ME TO DEATH! 1) I mean, it's Cambodia - a completely different world than here. 2) Loooong flight, the furthest I've flown was to Cancun (and I cried a lot because I hate planes!) 3) I am worried about pretty much everything - health, food, will I do ok, blah blah blah. 4) I don't have a passport! I am sure if it is meant to be it will all come together, but to be honest. it all just makes me nervous.

2) Revisiting Kidz Bop

Once again, I have a bone to pick with whoever created this silly CD. Do you really think putting today's pop/rock hits to kids music makes it all better? I mean, have you HEARD the songs in real life? Just because you put them to some cotton candy music and maybe change one or two words, doesn't make it any more appropriate! I can tell you right now, Parker will never own one of those CD's, or Heely's for that matter, but that's a whole other post!

3) This Week

So this week is looking like a fun week. I think later after Parker is awake, he and I are going to meet Tabatha and Logan at the park and hang out for the afternoon! I am so excited! I need to get out of this house. Tomorrow, I have Mommies and Munchkins and thankfully it won't be as hot as the other day when I almost passed out. I am looking forward to it. Wed, we have to run up to the Vista office so that I can make copies. As well as we are going to go over to Crissy's so mommy gets some girl time and I am going to bring Parker's little pool and I'm gonna let him "swim." Thursday is going to be nuts, mommies and munchkins in the morning, then Drew and I are going to go to Easton to do some thinking through stuff. That evening my in laws will be here. Friday, is my mom in law's birthday, we are going to go to the zoo, hang out, play games and then take her to dinner and then Saturday is the 4th - we are going to a parade, and the fireworks later in the day. Sunday, church!

Oh yah, busy busy, so please understand if my posts aren't that thrilling this week!

Oh can you say a prayer for me, I am going to be calling my Dr. today about my anti-depressant and also, calling for a counselor. I'm a little nervous about that!

Thank You!

God is so good!

First of all, to anyone who read this and prayed (you know who you are) - THANK YOU!

I know it seems silly, but sometimes I simply need the reminder that I am Parker's mommy for a reason!

God has worked out some of the knots in my soul that were there last night, granted - I still feel pretty lousy, but I know I am not alone, I know I am a good mom (even if Parker just totally cut his arm on the side of our bookcase - builds character right?) I can't protect him 100% of the time. I know that. I also know that I do what he needs me too - even if I doubt myself. It's lies! Satan knows how to get in and just spread icky seeds everywhere.

I realized something today. I have family here in Columbus (and spread out everywhere). No, we aren't blood related, but I do have family here. i love them all! Each one brings something extra to the table and each one holds a special place in my heart. I am so fortunate to have a HUGE extended Christian family. They are amazing, gifted and totally awesome! One of my family members - Crissy, she's like the big sister who's older and wiser than I, she was awesome today. Parker had a meltdown today, very unusual for him, and ended up being in the service with me. I sat with Crissy and her family and when he started acting up, she let me stay in service while she took him in the hallway! it was great to not have to do it myself and get a break for once. Another friend Marla, wrote me the sweetest note, I read it when I got home, tears streaming down my face (even if it was few words!) I just REALLY needed it.

I have to admit, I am very much a word of affirmation person. I don't know if I didn't get enough support and praise growing up, but something that REALLY feeds my soul is getting those words of affirmation/encouragement. Sometimes, all I need is words - it is I think my top Love Language!

I am better today! Much better. My soul is hurting and I am running low on happy, but I am getting there. God is giving me outlets, friends, songs, just really speaking to me right now.

Tomorrow, I am calling my Dr. back about my anti-depressant, as I know I need it right now. I need to seek some counseling too.

Things are looking up -

Moving on to a couple random things.
- I get my iphone tonight! Drew upgraded his, so I get his old one! Oh yah, I am excited.
- Billy Mays died - seriously, is there something in the hollywood water or something?
- Busy week ahead - my in laws will be here Thurs - Sunday. Super fun though.

ok, that's it! Enjoy the rest of your "Rest" day - Sunday!

God is Nifty

***EDIT*** PLEASE BE PRAYINGParker's NICU buddy Logan is currently in the ER, he has a high temp and has been having breathing issues. It's a scary time for his momma Tabatha. Last I heard at about 4:15 pm EST he was getting an x-ray and was ordered 3 breathing treatments. Logan is a precious boy, who has been through a lot in the past year. (For those who don't know, Parker and Logan were born 12 hours apart (P was born 1st) they were they same gestation, same birthday, same reason (HELLP Syndrome) and Tabatha and I connected through the NICU. Oh and their beds were beside each other!)
***END EDIT***

Wow, I am on a role with these God filled posts all of a sudden! Oh well, I can't help it, my faith has grown a lot in the last year and each day I am truly reminded of just how stinking cool God and also - pretty darn creative too!

Today - at the zoo - I would look at the animals and it would just strike my how unbelievably cool they are. I've been to the Columbus Zoo several times, but I never get past the amazement as I watch the most precious baby elephant in the world play with his mommy, or watch a silly monkey laying in the share eating branches. I love to tell Parker about these cool animals, even if he is more interested in eating his hat. It just astounds me. Truly.

It makes me seriously wonder how people don't believe in God. But that's just me.

You know why else God is nifty - He provides. I swear there are days I wonder how we survive with little money and bills, but he provides - always. Last year, we weren't sure what would come of Parker's birth/hospital stay/shots/dr. visits ect - I won't go into how much it's been (we'll just say A LOT! - no not a million - but a lot) and we have only paid maybe .3% our of pocket! SERIOUSLY, how fortunate we have been and I truly do believe that is a God thing. Yes, we have insurance, which sure, isn't necessarily a God thing, but considering all that we've been through - I feel very fortunate.

God continues to provide - we've found an Occupational Therapist that we will be seeing - currently we are on a waiting list - apparently OT and PT are in high demand! We have also been able to pay off one of our cars and we haven't had any overdraft charges in months (yes, that's right folks, we have had that problem.)

I just think God is doing such amazing amazing things! In my life, in the world, in my church and I am thankfully to have hope in Him!

Ok, stepping back from this God talk for today!

Hope you are having a wonderful hump day! :)

A Little Tangent

I have a little tangent I would like to discuss. Why, well because I want to gloat about my church. Well not so much gloat as just share with you while I am proud to call myself a member of Vista Community Church.

1) Our Minister: Mike Smith is hysterical. Great guy and really just something else. He will rightfully admit that he had no intentions of being the preacher of this church, but boy has God blessed him. In the two and a half years I've known him, I have seen him grow in his speaking capabilities. He does such a great job delivering the message each week and he almost always adds in a little humor. That's just him though!

2) Our Staff: Seriously, they don't get any better, from the quirky adorable Mary Kate to the awesomely talented Justin, to the practical fun loving Brain, to my personal fav. Amber (ok so maybe she is because I work with her a lot!) the precious! I love our staff! And believe, me there are more - Cindy, our Kids Community director (whom I worked with from day 1 to help get this kids stuff off the groung) she is a beautiful human being. I adore her.

3) Worship: I pretty much leave church EVERY week pumped. I could sing and worship for hours at that place. We have an incredible amount of talented musicians, drummers, guitar rocking individuals in our church. And worship each week is just awesome. I am never bored and I love the types of songs we sing! Oh man, seriously a lot of times I almost break out in dance each week. I tend to twitch to the music alot because they rock it. Seriously - oh man... INCREDIBLE! I wish you could all hear it. I really really do!

4) Kids Community: So I may be tooting my own horn here a bit since I've been pretty involved with this area since the beginning, but I can't help it. We have a wonderful paid staff that works with our kids every week. We also have wonderful volunteers that help out each week. I love being a part of this kids community, putting my 2 cents in here and there and developing the curriculum for the toddlers. I ADORE MY TODDLERS! It's really a happy place for me! And i am pretty sure the kids love it.

5) My friends: I have an amazing group of friends at church. I have a life group I can't get enough of. I love that everyone is nice and even people I may not know well invest in me and my family. I never feel hated or unloved, in fact, I feel way over loved at times. It truly is a church of very loving people.

I just can't get enough of my church. I don't know why I am feeling led to write this tonight. I just really love it. We just recently launched a new website, that is a lot more user friendly than our old one and we are really growing as a church. We have grown a lot for a church of our size. I love that our church cares about the community and wants to get involved. Just these past two weeks we've been talking about Social Justice and Multi-Cultural Churches. It's fascinating really.

i am really blessed to call Vista my church home. I am really blessed to be a part of the kids community and blessed to have been allowed to develop a curriculum for the toddler room. I love it!

God is so good. And I am thankful for that!