Anxiety

Just the word gives me anxiety. My problem is, I am REALLY struggling it right now in regards to some things.

First, Parker! I am anxious about his therapy and that he will never ever talk. I am anxious about his allergies - the more he's started eating, the more I see reactions to wheat, which I know he has a mild allergy too. He basically breaks out anytime he has something wheat related (like his current addiction, cheese toast or oatmeal). It shows up around his mouth and goes away with in a couple hours. He doesn't seemed bothered by it, but I don't want it to get worse. I called his Dr. and we now have an appointment in 2 weeks with one of his associates who happens to be an allergist. To me, that's actually kind of nice, I don't have to have to go to a different place for allergist appointments. Ali - I believe you might know this certain dr...you like him right?

Parker's main therapist M was here today. He did pretty good, she's impressed with what he can do. She worked with him on stacking blocks and 2 step things...he did good! She let us borrow some peg puzzles to work on with him. It's his speech that causes the most anxiety - or stress I guess. I just feel like at times it is so pointless to sit there and have him try to repeat you or you repeat everything he says. Yet, at the same time, I see small improvements here and there!

Second, I scheduled a dr.'s appointment for myself. I hate doctors...seriously, if there was a phobia, I would have it and if there is one, I am sure I would be diagnosed with it. For me to have a consistent dr is a big deal. I have had my ob/gyn for almost 2 years now - that's huge. If she could be my dr for everything, I would do it in a second. But sadly, no such luck. Drew and I have lived here for 4 years and I have yet to have even just a family doctor for us. A lot of that stems from my fear of them. The funny thing is, I haven't always had this fear. In Indiana I had a family doctor I loved - but I can't exactly bribe him to come and be my dr. again and I don't want to move back to Warsaw just for a dr. The last family doctor I had was so mean and rude to me...and I haven't wanted to go one since. She basically "yelled" at me for being overweight. The whole reason I had gone to her was to get help and suggestions to lose weight and she turned it around and made me feel guilty for being heavy. Who does that? I left her that day bawling and never went back and decided that doctors weren't for me. But recently, I have been realizing it would be nice to have a consistent Dr. rather than going to urgent care all the time. So I dived in and asked a special friend about her dr and she talked to me about him and the practice he works for. Both Drew and I have an appointment with a female dr in that practice on Nov. 12. We are getting physicals - what exactly do these include? I think the last time I had a physical was in high school. So if anyone knows what they do, I'd like to know. I am really anxious not knowing. I do know they do a blood draw - which let me tell ya, I am so thrilled for NOT! But what else? I just don't want this dr. to be mean to me. I am scared that I have some horrible serious disease that they will find. The fears are endless.

I have anxiety about some other things too (like dentists....I didn't even like having to be there to pick Drew up when he had his wisdom teeth taken out last year).

I think I worry too much! No, I know I worry too much.

Oh and an update on little man's hands - they are all better. They still are sorta red where the new skin is growing, but he is completely unbandaged and using them fully. He is terrified of the oven now - when I open it he screams and cries. I am glad but sad that it took him burning his hands to get that way.

Hope you like my new look, my friend Heather did it for me! She's awesome!