Saturday, February 14, 2009

Tidbits - Friendship, Guilt, Drama, Fri. 13th stinks!

Another tidbits post - this one, just as random as the last!

- Yesterday was a very hard day for hubby and me. A very close friend of ours has been going through some rough stuff and we have been supporting her the best we can. Well yesterday it all came to a head. She kicked out her hubby and while at her parents her hubby and mom got into it. He decided to draw us into the middle of it and make some STUPID and COMPLETELY unwarranted accusations. (He is convinced my hubby and his wife are together behind his back. I should note that I trust Drew 100%, I know he is faithful and I know that "meanie head" was making these accusations out of anger and hurt. He wants to take the heat of himself and put it on someone else who's done nothing wrong.) I of course was hurt and angry by said accusation and I know, as should everyone else that it's total poo and that the ding dong is just that - a ding dong! (I think it's all be resolved as of right now.) Anyways our friend has decided that she thinks its best that none of us talk right now, as she doesn't want us to get hurt anymore. She won't return calls, emails, texts, nothing and it hurts. We love her dearly and we don't want her to go through all of this alone, but if this is what she feels is best we have to trust that. I prayed hard last night for the situation...and I continue to pray! I trust that God will get us all through this!

- Also yesterday I some how found myself in the middle of another problem. While I can't go into details with this one - I will tell you three key words - drama, anger, pregnancy issues. God knows the situation, so feel free to pray for it! I am concerned for my friend and her pregnancy and the unneeded drama.

- And these two things alone are why I hated Friday the 13th!

- However, I got my prize in the mail I won during the contest carnival I posted about a few weeks ago. It's a really cute keychain made for me, with the colors I wanted by a very talented blogger! I love it - its brown with blue dots! I love love love it! When I got it, it made my Friday the 13th just a little bit better!

- I am still reading through the book, Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps On Giving and I am working through understand true guilt and false guilt. I would say about 90% of the guilt I feel is false guilt, maybe even more! I've learned that a lot of times with guilt in mommyhood, it's false guilt, it isn't that you did anything wrong but you feel you did. For example - one of the biggest things I feel guilty for is the circumstance surrounding Parker's birth and then stay at the NICU. I feel so guilty about it - but the truth it, I did nothing wrong, in fact I did everything right. So why can't I let go of this guilt? I don't know, but I am working on it. One thing I do feel guilty for that I am actually guilt of is ignoring Parker when he cries at times. Sometimes I simply do not want to deal with I ignore it. Then 2 minutes later - I deal with it. False vs. True guilt - vague vs. obvious. It makes sense. The great thing I was reminded of is that Parker won't remember half the things I feel guilty for. He's not going to remember being poked by several needles, he's not going to remember me accidently biting him when he had his hand near my mouth and I was talking, he's not going to remember me spilling milk all over his face when I forgot to tighten the nipple and cap on the bottle....well unless I write about it and he finds this blog which case - Parker, I adore and and I am sorry! So what about you, do you know true guilt vs. false guilt? Maybe make a list and see what you realize, you'd be surprised! I am almost done with this book and will be moving on to a new one. Which of course I will share with you!

- Happy Valentines Day!

- Tomorrow my little sister turns 20, wow...I feel old (yah, I am only 26)

- Off to make some grilled cheese and tomato soup...mmmmmmmmmmm!

1 comment:

Carrie said...

Denise, thanks for sharing these thoughts on mommy guilt- I really need to read that book- I struggle with lots of guilt, too, and that's a good point about 'false guilt'.

I feel guilty sometimes when I ignore Z's crying, too, but babies have to learn that sometimes they're not the center of the universe- but with our firstborns, since they're our 'onlies' right now, it's hard to let them cry, I know. I'm especially bad about it at night or at the end of naptime if I'm trying to finish up something on the internet. :)

Also, we're having an interesting discussion about guilt at our Shack book discussion blog this week- here's the link: - Check out the comments, especially ones by Tom- he's a pretty wise guy. :)