Just Breathe

Well, as promised I am back after the craziness of Christmas to update you on how things are. I decided to entitle this, "Just Breathe" for several reasons, but mostly because I need to be and just breathe. It's been a VERY busy month and it was topped off with an amazing program at Vista where we saw over 2,000 people come over three performances to hear the story of Hope! It was truly amazing. I cried some because of just how powerful it felt just being in the choir on stage. There was a very special testimony that I would love for you to watch. It's from Billy and Amy and it's just moving! It's the story of Hope. And it's beautiful.

We had several friend and family come into town to see the program and enjoyed spending time with all of them!

The Monday before Christmas I had to take Parker to the ER. He was having breathing issues and his albuterol was not at all helping. It was scary, but he's ok now. He does have asthma and so we will be learning more about how to deal with that. I won't lie, I am not happy about it, but I am thankful that it is nothing more serious.

Drew's parents came out for Christmas and we enjoyed having them around. I enjoyed them taking care of Parker for me. Christmas was great, we all got some wonderful presents. Some of my favs include: my Colts Snuggie! (Go Blue!), a hand made scarf, a scarf Drew got me at Forever 21 (it's so pretty), and a picture frame that says meow and has a picture of my kitty. I miss her :(

Parker got some great gifts...and enjoys all of them! Also, please be praying for Tabatha and Logan, he's been super sick and they are currently at the ER. I wish I knew how to help her.

So I think I am going to go and just breathe and be. If I don't say it before Friday - Happy New Year. I hope you have a blessed 2010

I'm In a Funk...

I. Feel. Weird... not like sick weird, but just weird. Like something within me is off. These past few days I have felt very negative and depressed over things. I feel off. My mind is a jumbled hot mess of nonsense and I just feel - heavy. Not weight wise (though I do wish I were skinnier) I just feel like this weight of stuff is on my shoulders. I have a lot in my head to get out...mind if I just allow my head to dump for a moment?

Aunt Sharon's funeral was lovely. It was a long 6 hours there - but I got there and found out that Aunt Sharon talked about me all the time. Here's the thing, we've met once - at my wedding. She barely knew me and I always assumed that she just considered me her nephew's wife - but apparently she talked about me a lot and very highly. When I met her daughter (she's in her mid 40's I believe) she said, "So you're the Denise that my mom always talked about." Really, I mean, she talked about me that much? It really touched me and I ended up crying a lot. The drive home was horrible, we got stuck in traffic in Louisville for like EVER! And Parker was not happy, but we made it.

Since Friday night - things have been just a blur. My cat left for her new home on Sunday morning with my in-laws - perhaps that has me in a funk. I really miss her presence in the house, even if she was annoying at times. I miss her meowing when I walk in the house and when she wants food and really anytime. I miss her cuddling with me. I miss her kneading my chest. It's sorta lonely here with out her.

And I am just tired, I feel so out of it from that too.

I don't know...maybe I just really need vacation next week.

On a more positive note, Parker is catching up very well in his development. He had an appointment today and the PT said he was doing really really good. She isn't as concerned with him now like she was last time we had our evaluation. We have some things to work on but nothing we can't deal with.

That's all I have to say about that!

Welp - there goes our cat

I am so completely frustrated and sad right now, it has been confirmed that Parker is allergic to both cats and dogs.

Which means -

We have to get rid of our cat. Yes, she is going to a good home - my in laws, but it sucks. She was my birthday present the first year of mine and Drew's marriage. (4 years almost now) I know that once she is gone Parker will be much better - but I am really sad. She was my first baby and I really love her and I am an animal lover and we can't have a cat or a dog (hypo-allergenic dogs are only in a case of dander - Parker has allergies to both dander and saliva).

So yah, anyway, back to Parker - he has a serve allergy to dogs and cats - thankfully though it doesn't affect his breathing - but it does flare up his eczema bad - and it could lead to breathing issues. Milk and soy tested negative and wheat is super mild - so we aren't changing anything there at this point.

This just sucks - how do I deal with going to other's houses whom have cats or dogs? Do I just give him claritian or benadryl - darn, why did I not ask Dr. D? And once Geisha moves to her new house in NY, how on earth do I clean this place really well? Ugh

I am so sad. But glad we know...

Pray for us - its going to be a rough couple of weeks.

1 Parker + 1 Dog = Allergy Tests Galore!

Some of you follow me on facebook, others on twitter, some know me personally and already know this, but I want to share with you our current situation with Parker.

Saturday (Aug. 8) Parker and I went over to my friend Chrissy's new house. She has two precious dogs - Daisy and Darby. Parker was on the floor loving on Darby and she loving on him. They stopped for a brief moment and I noticed that poor Parker was red every spot where he'd been licked. I didn't think much of it, figured, hey, he's never been around dogs really (we have a cat) so it's probably just a small irritation. In fact, Chrissy and I giggled about it! Then, Parker started to itchy really bad - then puff up, and then hives started showing up. I took him to urgent care and it was confirmed that Parker had an allergic reaction to dog saliva.

Today, Parker woke up with a fever (totally unrelated to the allergy issue) and so knowing we needed to follow up anyways and being concerned by the highness of the fever I made a sick appointment. Parker has a virus, should be gone by the end of the week at the latest.

And here's where the fun comes in - Dr. D wants Parker to have allergy tests done. So tomorrow, we are going to a lab and he will get check for allergies to - dog dander and saliva, cat dander and saliva, wheat, soy and milk! We pretty much already know about the dog saliva - which means we can't even have a hypoallergenic dog - those are dander "proof" only). There is the possibility of cat allergies - which could explain his on going eczema. And the food, that's mainly precautionary, but again, it could also explain the eczema.

So I am a bit bummed. I love cats and dogs and now, we may need to get rid of our cat and we won't be able to get a dog. I realize down the road that Parker could very likely outgrow some intolerance to dogs, but still, its a huge bummer. Also, we will probably have to be prepared for asthma testing and such too. Woohoo!

I am taking this hard. Not sure why, just am.

So if you could be praying for Parker and the tests and for me as I come to terms with it, I'd appreciate it!

Thanks

10 Things I Wonder...

Today, I have alot on my mind - mostly things I wonder!

1. How did my baby go from this:


To this:


My baby is 11 months old today, I cannot believe it!

2. How do I not lose my mind now that my little man is crawling everywhere and pulling up on everything?

3. Why does Parker always seem to find the hardest surface to pull up on? And how many times can he fall and bump his head before the kid gets a concussion or something?

4. How afraid should I be of the swine flu?

5. Does Jack Hanna live in Columbus since he is our zoo director?

6. Should I go to the library today?

7. Is my son going to say "kitty" before he says "mama"?

8. How do I not over pack for our Tennessee Trip? I don't want to go overboard, but I also don't want to forget anything since we will be gone for a week.

9. Why did I just call my cat Parker?

10. Why do I love blogging so much?

Now What...???

Normally I wouldn't post anything on a Sunday - maybe I would do a Sunday Sabbath post with pictures, but today I am posting something. I just need to "let it out" as one would say.

We survived our first night home since our scary ordeal with the ER Saturday night. To say the first night home was hard is a complete understatement. I was scared over every little thing Parker did that wasn't normal. Drew had to explain to me on several occasions that the albuterol will make him breath faster because of it being a steroid. That would explain a lot. Thankfully, Parker is doing so well that he has only needed his puffs every 6 hours - which is much better than the once an hour that was basically happening at the hospital. PRAISE GOD!!!! I am learning the difference between wheezing and Parker excitement breathing (they are almost the same!) Which is very helpful as well.

Right now, we are keeping him confined to his bedroom. When we got home last night, the cat was automatically put in our bedroom and has been there since. She doesn't understand why, but I kept telling her, she did nothing wrong, but we have to protect her baby brother until we can find her a new place to stay or until May when her grandparents can take her back to New York! Anyways, Parker's room is the cleanest in the house and the room with the least amount of cat hair. We got home and did as best of a deep clean as we could - we did a lengthly vacuum and dusted like mad men! We plan to get a nice air purifier for his room (well for most of the house!) and do our best to keep his room the least allergen filled.

Once we get our state tax return - we are getting a Dyson!!!! We also plan to, like I said, get air purifiers, some good cleaning solutions, lots of hand sanitizer and really step up in our effort to be more cleanly. Now, we are by no means dirty people, but our house isn't immaculate either!

I know it sounds like we are going crazy - but if these actions can help make things less hard on his little body, I am all for them! I don't want a repeat of what happened Saturday night...It was super scary and emotionally and physically draining! I don't wish it on anyone. I am thankful we got him to the ER when we did...it could have been much worse, but I also don't want to put him at risk for anything getting more severe.

Emotionally....I am so drained. I haven't cried so much in a long time. Every breathing treatment pretty much inspired streams of tears, especially the first few at the hospital when he would scream and look into your eyes as if to say, why are you doing this. I barely slept at all while there. I was too into helping Parker. and when I did sleep, it was either in a recliner, a hard chair or the floor. To go from one day everything being ok and now, having to be careful with allergens and hand washing and cleaning things is so hard. I don't know that I right now can even completely comprehend what happened. I know I repeated my questions alot to the nurses - who, by the way, wanted to steal Parker (he's a charmer even when sick). The nurses we had in the observation unit were so nice and understanding. Praise God for them.

I have to say though...I realize just how much I love my baby boy. I mean, I knew I loved him deeply and unlimitedly, but with everything he went through in the hospital...my love is just gonna burst. I would do anything to help him, make him comfortable and make him not struggle like he was.

**I should note that he also had a virus, which made this all the much worse!**

Anyways, so now I have to learn a new normal. I feel like I did back in August when I first brought Parker home - like I have to learn how to be normal again. I am scared I will miss him needing his treatment. I am scared of a lot, I am scared I can't trust my own instincts...SCARED SCARED SCARED! Somehow though, I know we will be ok. Things will become normal and everyday again. God will protect him. I will learn and life will return to a better place.

Please keep us in your prayers - we have a rather long-ish road ahead of learning how to live and take care of an asthmatic child.

Ok, off to try to rest - I skipped church because 1) I am not ready to have parker out and about quite yet and 2) I am so dang tired!

Writer's Workshop

It's time for Writer's Workshop...hosted by MamaKat. Head over to to her site and get the rules!!


My Fur Baby....

I grew up on a farm and we had more cats than you can shake a stick at. It started with one simple one, Andy and quickly spiraled out of control. Strays would show up and we couldn't just turn them away....by the time I was married and leaving we had well over 10 cats (all outdoor cats!) I was never without an animal...I had hamsters, I had a dog, my brother had a rat at one point and then a hedgehog, my sister had a chinchilla, and my other brother had a bunny. We loved animals, so when I moved from that home and into my in-laws home after getting married...I went nuts. There were no animals it was quiet, I couldn't look out the window and see cats playing in the yard, my puppy wasn't there. Within a week of moving to Buffalo, I had talked Drew and his parents into letting my get a hamster. I needed something with fur, I was desperate here! By my birthday, 3 weeks later, I had talked with them and they were ok with me getting a cat. YAY!!!

So about a week after my birthday we went to one of the local rescue shelters. I had planned to get a kitten, but I quickly changed my mind. I walked around the "cat room" looking at each cat, I skipped over the older, bigger ones, I had no intentions of getting one, until I saw this beautiful grey cat....that was it, it was love at first site. We asked to take her out and play with her. The shelter had named her Geisha (no not as in Memoirs of a Geisha...we actually pronounce it Gee-sha). She was about 6 months old and she was beautiful, perfect.



We took her home with us, fully excited and ready to love on her. She was a true sweetheart. Our living room was in the basement so down there she stayed until we could get her declawed. Within about a week of her being home, she was being dropped off at the vet hospital to get her claws taken out. A few days later, she was home, we kept her in the basement until she was fully healed. Oh the fun we had with her little satellite dish on her neck. She wouldn't walk forward, nope, instead she was stuck in reverse. It was funny to watch. Once she was healed, she ruled the house...running up the stairs and down the stairs and up the stairs and down the stairs. And she was obsessed with the hamster Benji.



Here we are over 3 years later and oh the stories I have! Like, the first time we wanted to take her on a car trip. Bad idea. We were told we would have to sedate her, yah, that did not go over well. Within an hour of our trip we had decided to turn around and just leave her at home, making our 8 hour trip to indiana....more like 10. The next time we took her on a trip we didn't sedate her and she was totally fine. Geisha has an unhealthy obsession with plastic bags. When she was really little she would sleep in them. I could pick up the bag and carry her around. She still likes them, though now she prefers not to sleep in them. She used to LOVE to sleep on my neck or between my legs at night, now, she loved to stand on me and knead me. My cat hates outdoors. Oh, she acts like she wants to go outside, but as soon as you even attempt to her get out, she completely freaks out. The only truly weird thing is she will come out and sit on our back or front balcony with us.

I adore my daughter cat. She loves her brother, although most of the time she prefers to ignore him. When we brought him home, she was less than enthused. She wanted nothing to do with him, he'd cry, she'd hide, he'd be on my chest, she would ignore me completely. She did not want another human in this house. Though now she has completely warmed up to him. You may even catch her rubbing up against him on occasion!

She is bigger now, older, has gone through a lot of stages...from loving us, to hating us, to having no desire to be touched or held, to begging for it.







It's your turn!!!
Choose a prompt (or two or all), post it on your blog, and go to MamaKat's site and post it on her Mr. Linky!

The Prompts:

1.) Describe your latest obsession.

2.) Ask a loved one to use 6 descriptive words to describe you and report your findings. How well do they know you?

3.) Who was your first bloggy friend? How did you find each other? Do you still correspond?

4.) Tell us about your pet! If you have a weird infatuation with your dog or cat we want to hear about it (or if they just plain drive you crazy)...but please don't compare them to children. It's just not the same.


On two other notes.....

Please stop by Nate's site and wish his miracle baby, Gwyneth a happy 1 year birthday!!!

Also, please stop by Shannon's site and say a little prayer for her and her family, she is having heart surgery today.